I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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