and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
