Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
