Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
