Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
