What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
3 2 1 whiskey
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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