Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
