THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
