I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
