ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
