Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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