That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
