i would punch a child for taco bell
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My ATM looks so different sober.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
