Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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