Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
