So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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