Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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