I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
