There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
