We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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