there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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