I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize