Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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