i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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