I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
