i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
