i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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