You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
