Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
