please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.