I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize