Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
