It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
