I wish I only lived at night.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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