why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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