barbara walters just said penis...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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