It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize