Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.