My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
