my mouth tastes like poor choices
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
as a side note pls kill me
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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