I don't think brook has ever known best
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
