so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
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