i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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