I'm drive I can fine osifer
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
