Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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