Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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