Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
