It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
