I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
