my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
