Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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