oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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