She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
