she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
please come you make the beer taste better
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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